I realise that April Fools Day is a bad day to do this…

I can honestly say that throughout my experience with cancer I only thought ‘WHY ME?’ one time. That moment came in the office of a fertility specialist four months after being given the all clear. The treatment which had saved my life had also decimated my egg count. Where I should have been at 35 or 40 on the scale of being able to conceive, I was a two. I was a two, and I was pissed off.

The doctor tried to reassure me, explaining that there were other ways, and anyway, it might happen! He told me a few stories of women who conceived naturally despite the odds being stacked against them. I felt like telling him to fuck off. I was in a dark place.

Over the following weeks I shared the bad news with some friends, who all did their best to reassure me. Many of them had their own stories of friends of friends who surprised themselves by getting pregnant when they thought they weren’t able to. I shut them down one by one. I didn’t want to hear about the exceptions, because they were exceptions. I couldn’t bank on being an exception when I knew the probability was that I would be the rule.

Then, a few months after we started trying, I got pregnant. We spent the seven weeks between finding out and going for a scan in total disbelief, barely telling anyone, and trying not to get our hopes up. This wasn’t meant to have happened! Then, last week, we saw our baby wriggling around on a screen in The Rotunda, and now there is simply no denying it. No matter what happens now there is a baby of our creation, and I have become the exception.

We are absolutely delighted and a little bit terrified at the prospect of becoming proper adults, but I gather that’s a normal way to feel. We are also incredibly grateful that we have beaten the odds.

If you are happy for us, we are very grateful for that. If, however, due to your own circumstances, you find this news difficult, I get it. I get it, and I hope that some day soon, just when you’re least expecting it, you find yourself waving a wee covered plastic stick around with delight as I recently did.
Advertisements

12 comments

  1. Pingback: 'Total Disbelief!' - 2FM Presenter Announces Pregnancy After Cancer Battle - Littlewoods Ireland Blog
  2. Pingback: Huge congrats are in order for Louise McSharry!
  3. Margaret Burke · April 1, 2016

    The biggest Congratulations Louise u so deserve every happiness!! Love ur radio show too!!

  4. nicolaforde · April 1, 2016

    You are amazing and this is such wonderful news. I love listening to you on the radio! Congratulations!!!

  5. Breda · April 1, 2016

    Huge congratulations to you Louise and your husband.! Such amazing news! It also gives me hope.. 🙂

  6. CherrySue · April 1, 2016

    So now I’m welling up at my desk – THANKS, LOUISE! This is such wonderfully happy news, warmest congratulations xx

  7. Patricia Mooney · April 1, 2016

    Congrats to you both such good news

  8. Laura · April 1, 2016

    Dear Louise, I heard this news on the 2FM news this morning while I was driving in the car, The minute I heard I was soooo thrilled for you. Biggest congratulations for you and your other half!! The greatest news ever !! Lots of love & warm wishes to you!! Xxxxx

  9. Caroline · April 1, 2016

    I cried ….. tears of joy for ye and tears of hope for us xx

  10. Lisa(Badmammy.com) · April 1, 2016

    Massive congratulations, delighted for you both!

  11. Elaine · April 1, 2016

    I’m so thrilled for you Louise.
    I had a bit of a journey myself and now I have a gorgeous, snotty, drooling 8 month son.
    Rotunda is an excellent and they minded me brilliantly.
    Delighted.com

  12. Anna Hartnett · April 1, 2016

    Congrats to you both. Fab news.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s